


Silence in his heart

by Karieauthoress (ksrandomme), ksrandomme



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-30
Updated: 2009-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-18 01:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/Karieauthoress, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksrandomme/pseuds/ksrandomme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair had to leave in order to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence in his heart

Jim strolled casually into the bullpen, his jacket in hand and his mind on a cup of coffee from the break room when he felt the air displacement of the door to Simon’s office swing open.

  
“Ellison, my office.” It was never a request. It was expected that if Simon Banks opened his door and called your name, you went inside and let him talk. Jim detoured to the office, walked inside and closed the door.

  
“You wanted to see me, Captain?” Serious, soldier to the core until he knew what this was about. He stood ram-rod straight at attention and waited.

  
Simon stood behind his desk, his dark brown eyes shadowed behind his wire framed glasses. “Jim, sit down.”

  
Now the Sentinel was a little worried. Simon looked so… tired. He sat as indicated and gauged Simon’s physical aspects against his own mental recollection of past reports. After a moment of cataloging heart and respiration, taking note of the eyes and the posture, Jim came to the conclusion that Simon was upset about something and this something was connected to Jim. That could mean only one thing… Sandburg.

  
“What’s up, Simon?”

  
The big man sat behind his desk and stared hard at his best detective. “Jim… Blair didn’t show up for the Academy this week.”

  
And suddenly the bottom dropped out of James Ellison’s world. Blair had said he would go. He had said he wanted to get out of town, find a way to make it easier for everyone. He had packed some things and promised Jim that he would be back as soon as he could be. Jim sighed and dropped his head in his hands, elbows on knees as he sat forward. He hadn’t said he would take the badge.

  
“He didn’t explain. He led me to… damnit Simon, I thought he was going out of town to another Academy! He said he had to get out of town, but I thought he meant to Tacoma or somewhere away from Cascade, so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the press and shit…” Jim sat silently for a moment before continuing. “I noticed he packed only half his stuff… and then he left.”

  
“And so you assumed he went to an Academy somewhere in Washington State where he wouldn’t be harassed. It makes sense, when you think about it. But then if he didn’t go to the Academy, or an Academy somewhere… where is he?” Jim could hear Simon take his glasses off and knew that the man was massaging the bridge of his nose, as he often did when concentrating. When he looked up at his Captain, it was to find the glasses back in place and the dark brown eyes focused fully on his own blue ones. “What do we do?”

  
“We don’t do anything.” Jim stood stiffly. Suddenly he wanted to be anywhere but here. He wanted to go back home and scour the small bedroom beneath the stairs. He wanted to look for clues as to where Sandburg could have hidden himself. “I’m going home… I’ll call you later.”

  


o-O-o

  
Reaching the third floor of 852 Prospect, Jim slowed his stride before coming to a stop in front of his door. He knew that when he opened this door, it would be to an empty loft. Not empty in the sense that all the furniture would be gone and it would look unlived in. More like empty in the way that there was no Blair Sandburg to fill it. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to go in now, having come to the belief that Blair might not be back… might never come back at all… might never come home.

  
Frankly, that sort of scared the shit out of Jim. He was strong enough to admit that now. He opened the door.

  
It was quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. Jim grimaced at the cliché of his thoughts. As he stepped into the room and shucked off his jacket, he glanced around carefully, searching for anything out of place. The kitchen looked normal enough. He figured it was all the same. Then he noticed the missing tea cup. Blair’s favorite mug for brewing tea late at night. It wasn’t where he had left it after he last washed it. He stepped over into the kitchen and checked the cabinet where the tea was kept and found that all his partner’s favorites were missing.

  
Ok, that was a clue. Blair wouldn’t have brought tea with him to any Academy. Jim glanced to his left and noticed the French doors to the small bedroom were slightly ajar. It had been a week and Blair had left the doors open. He quickly crossed the open space and stepped into the room, pushing the door open just enough to slip inside.

  
Silence here as well. Jim shook his head. He didn’t like the silence. Glancing at the bookshelves, he noticed that a few books were missing. Nothing serious, just some manuals on police procedures, case files, other law enforcement material. He remembered giving them to Blair for him to look over before he went away to the Academy. But now it would seem that Blair had other ideas in mind for the text books. None of this made any sense to Jim. He sighed dejectedly once more.

  
His next search took him through Blair’s closet. There he found that most of Blair’s warm weather clothing was gone. Jim sat on the futon, putting that together with everything else. Blair was still doing something that involved the police. He was going somewhere warm to do it. He was expecting to work long hours; the missing teas told him that. He glanced at the desk and saw something he had missed before. A plain white envelope with Blair’s handwriting across the front sat leaning against a lamp.

 _“Jim Ellison”_

  
He picked it up, turned it over and sniffed it quietly. There were traces of Blair’s scent where he had held the envelope and licked the glue to close it. Jim savored the scent for a moment. Then he opened it, sliding out a single sheet of white copy paper. On it, in Blair’s precise script, was a letter to Jim.

  
 _“Jim,_

 _I figured this would be ignored for some time. You think I’m at the Academy and so you wouldn’t be too concerned. By the time you get this, I won’t be in the state. Know that I am safe. I am sure that Simon has told you that I am not at any Academy in the state. Sorry I deceived you in that regard, but it was necessary._

 _  
I have a plan. Call it ‘The Sandburg Ultimate Fix’ if you like. Simply put, I know what I am doing. First thing in the plan was for me to disappear for a while. Mission accomplished, I am gone and no one can find me. Try as they might, and I know you will. I am invisible. And I plan to stay that way for some time._

 _  
Now, you are going to hate this part but I am keeping tabs on you. Yes I know what’s going on and I have made plans and contingency plans that will be set off automatically if things start down the wrong path. I know what you are thinking. ‘Gee, how did he have the time to set all this up? I mean, he’s only been gone for a week or so!’ To tell you the truth, I’ve had this plan set since Incacha passed on the way of the Shaman to me. I knew that something else was going on, I just didn’t understand what it was._

 _  
In the mean time, this is what you should be looking for as the next step in my plan. You should get a phone call from the Dean of Schools at Rainier. Accept her generous offer on my behalf. Take what she gives you and stick it in a trust fund for me. I know that Stephen is waiting for it, so don’t worry, that part has been dealt with. As for Stephen, I’ve had him on my side since we first met. And before you ask, yes he knows exactly what’s going on and NO, he will not tell you. So don’t bother to ask._

 _  
Trust me on this Jim, you do not want to know the plan. To know the plan is to jinx it, and I am a firm believer in luck, fate and destiny. After the Dean calls you, and you get the IT to Stephen, wait for the next bombshell to go off… the Publisher. This won’t be to you, it will be all over the news. Don’t miss it man, look forward to it. It will spell the beginning of the end of everything._

 _  
When the Publisher is finished… I figure about that time is when IA will finish their investigation. Yes this is about you as well, so keep an eye out for it. Simon will let you know and then all hell will break loose. Ride the tide man, you know how to do that. You’ve surfed before and loved it. Just let it all roll away and hang in there._

 _  
Hee hee, this is the best part. When all the hoopla of the investigation dies down, you will see me again. I am coming back. In the mean time, dial it all down, try to watch out for anything that will set you off. If it gets really bad, have Simon stick you on leave and head out to the mountains. I’ll find you when the dust clears._

 _  
And then, my Sentinel friend, we can get back to work._

 _  
Keeping my eye on you,  
Blair”_

  
That was the end of the letter. There was nothing else. Jim read the letter three times. But instead of a sense of fear and dread that he had felt many times before when he thought that Blair was leaving him, this only left him with peace. Blair had told him he was coming back and Jim believed it. He didn’t know why he did… but he did.

  
He picked up his cell phone and dialed Simon’s number. “Simon, it’s me… no he’s not here… he’s gone… I haven’t a clue, somewhere warm where he intends to be for some time… He’s working on something… he left me a letter… Yeah, come on over, we’ll have Mexican night.”

  
He shut off the phone after that, took a deep breath, and left the small room under the stairs, intent to go on as if nothing were wrong. His Guide would return and everything would be all right. He knew it.

  


o-O-o

  
Simon took off his glasses after reading the letter; his eyes squinted tightly as he sighed. “And you’re telling me that you believe this?” He waved the letter in the air with his free hand.

  
“Yes Simon. Look, don’t ask me to explain it. It’s just that ever since the dissertation was leaked and Blair gave himself up like he did, I’ve felt that… well I’ve felt that I can trust him with anything. Like he’s totally trustworthy. More so than I had ever thought before.” Jim smiled faintly. “The letter says that he will be back. And I believe it.”

  
Simon swore lightly. “So, according to this, we won’t be able to find him and we have to wait for these things to happen. But he didn’t say when or how long this was going to take.”

  
“From the gist of things, once it starts it’s a snowball effect. Simon, he left most of his things here. He packed only what he needed for summer months. He expects this to be wrapped up fairly quickly. And when it is, things will be more or less back to normal.” Jim sat back with a slight grin on his face.

  
Simon scowled. “What IS normal for you two anyway?”

  
Jim felt the grin widen. “Normal for us is me working out there, keeping the city safe, with my Guide at my side. Just you wait and see Simon. It’s gonna happen. And I’m gonna sit back and watch with glee.”

  


o-O-o

  
The next three weeks were quiet. Cases came and went. Jim worked with Megan most of the time, she kept him grounded just by being there. He was able to handle himself quite well, but it was only due to the fact that he could almost hear his Guide in his head as he worked. And having Megan around helped steady him. So he was able to work.

  
The day that Chancellor Edwards called, Jim nearly fell on his ass. Simon was there at the loft and was on hand to keep the Sentinel from going to the woman’s office and tearing her throat out. She was not someone that Jim wanted to have a conversation with. But the letter reminded him that this was expected, so he listened reluctantly to what she had to say.

  
 _//“Detective Ellison, I’m so pleased that you could take my call. I am sorry to have not been able to catch Mr. Sandburg. I take it he is out for a short time?”//_ The woman’s voice dripped honey and oozed smarm. Jim held himself in check by a wing and a prayer.

  
“I’m sorry to inform you that Mr. Sandburg is out of town indefinitely, Chancellor Edwards. But I can assure you that I have been left to see to his remaining affairs here in Cascade. So, in other words, talking to me is like talking to him.” Talk about oozing smarm, Jim knew this from long practice at most military functions around the world. This woman had no idea who she was dealing with.

  
 _//“Well, I do hope he’s doing well.”//_ Ha, right, like he believed that. _//“In the mean time, I wanted to call and ask him if the offer is still on the table.”//_

  
Offer? What offer? Jim glanced at Simon who pursed his lips and gazed back with a curious look in his eyes. Jim snatched up the letter and scanned the paragraphs as he spoke. “Um, yes well… as far as I know…” He found the spot he was looking for. _Accept her generous offer on my behalf. Take what she gives you and stick it in a trust fund for me._ “The offer is non-negotiable and is still on the table, Chancellor. I take it that you find it satisfactory?”

  
Simon looked over his shoulder and read the paragraph with him, his eyes widening at the part where this call was expected. He had forgotten all about this as well. Jim smiled slightly.

  
“Yes, Detective. We on the Board find the offer… very satisfactory and wish to accept it. Where may I send everything?” The woman sounded as if she was anything but happy with whatever offer Blair had set up but her hands were seriously tied. Jim couldn’t wait to see what this offer was really.

  
“You can send everything to me and I will deal with it, Chancellor. Is there anything else?” Jim’s eyes narrowed. He would have to call Stephen and get him over to the loft soon to deal with everything he was supposed to. Blair trusted his little brother and so would Jim.

  
“I just want to be sure that… well that Mr. Sandburg will keep his end of the bargain, Detective.” And wasn’t that completely insulting of her to say it that way. Jim wanted to throttle her for her impertinence.

  
“For your information Chancellor, it was you and the board who forced Mr. Sandburg to this end. I would watch what I say; some statements have a way of biting you later.” Jim seethed inside. To think that anyone would believe that Blair would lie was unconscionable! Simon laid a restraining hand on Jim’s arm, understanding fully what the Sentinel was feeling. The woman on the other end of the line halted abruptly, her breath quick, as if she suddenly remembered what the dissertation had said about this particular police detective. Good, let her be afraid of him. It served to his good stead as she wouldn’t want to get in his way should he wish to push any subject that came to mind. He loved having the upper hand on something.

  
The end of the call was short lived and soon Jim was sitting on the sofa with a dead phone, the dial tone the only thing emitting from it. Simon took the phone and hung it up before coming to sit with Jim again. “Well, what did she say?”

  
“She just wanted to know about the offer and if it was still on the table. Blair never said anything about the offer, Simon… I have no idea what’s going on.” Jim blinked owlishly for a moment. Then he shook himself and stood, heading for the phone again. “I have to call Stephen so that he can come for… whatever it is they are sending.”

  
“Sounds as if he expects some sort of settlement from the school at least, I don’t know what he could be waiting for with that publisher guy.” Simon put on a pot of coffee as Jim dialed his brother’s number. “I sure wish I knew what that boy had in mind for this plan of his.”

  
Jim smiled faintly. “Well, whatever he has planned, it seems to be working.”

  
“Yeah,” Simon joined him in grinning. “Now we wait for the boom!”

  


o-O-o

  
It was three days later that Stephen came over for dinner at the loft. Simon was there as were Megan and Joel, who had been brought into the small loop of people who knew about Jim’s abilities. Between Megan and Joel, Jim was stable and working well and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t want to have to disappear in order to get a handle on his senses. He wanted to be in town when the fireworks went off. Blair had been gone a month.

  
Stephen showed up on time and sat with Jim at the coffee table, opening the box that had been delivered by courier to the loft earlier in the day. Jim was shocked by what was inside.

  
“This is everything that Blair had left behind that pertained to the testing in the labs. He said some of this stuff was original records that couldn’t be taken out, no matter what.” Jim sat back, awe showing across his face.

  
“Part of the deal. Blair gets back everything that has to do with the ‘bogus’ dissertation,” Stephen confirmed. “This is to be placed within a safety deposit box with his journals and the only official copy of the dissertation. Anything else out there is so much crap.”

  
Jim nodded silently. The next thing Stephen picked up was an envelope which contained a check for a pretty hefty amount. The zeros made it out to be in the thousands. Jim whistled low. Stephen took the check and smiled. “All there, just like he said. This is to be used to pay his loans, clear up his debts and the rest to be placed in a trust fund until he returns. I’ll take care of it as well.”

  
Stephen stood and made ready to leave with the box. Jim rushed to stop him. “Wait, Stevie… what the hell is going on?”

  
Stephen stopped at Jim’s insistence and turned back to him. Whatever he saw in Jim’s stance and eyes must have decided things for him because he suddenly sighed and began to explain. “Okay, look. Blair was sort of prepared for this… he wasn’t for sure that it would, but he was going to have an escape plan if things went south. He talked to me about it after your Shaman died, Jim. He said that it was his responsibility to protect his Sentinel… to protect you. He started with the trust fund. Naomi gave him some money she had been hoarding away and we started it up. It’s not like a savings account, this is different. Like a true trust fund, he’s not allowed to touch it until he meets certain criteria… in this case, he has to be Dr. Blair Sandburg before he sees a dime.”

  
Megan gasped and Joel’s jaw dropped. Jim shook his head. “Wait, what about this then? He’s no longer in school… he’s lost his credibility…”

  
“Not anymore. That was the last part of the deal. Blair has his credibility back. And he’s off somewhere finishing his true dissertation.” Stephen smiled.

  
“His true…” Jim couldn’t fathom what was being explained to him. Blair had his credibility back… he had his life back? And the media wasn’t hounding Jim… so that meant this was all on the sly. And Blair was working on his true dissertation? “Where is he Stephen?”

  
“I have no idea, big brother. But when he’s finished, he’ll be back.”

  
“For what?” Jim sputtered. Simon knew where this was going and he didn’t like the thought. But he let Jim voice them anyway. “Stephen, he will have his doctorate. His money… what is there to come back to?”

  
Stephen’s eyes dropped slightly. He snorted once. “You don’t have a clue, do you Jimmy? He’s coming back for you… his Sentinel… his friend.”

  
“You don’t know that, Stephen. Hell I don’t know that. After seeing all this, how can I know that?” Jim sat heavily in one of the chairs at the table, his eyes conveying the pain he was feeling right now. Stephen smiled again and leaned close as if he had a secret to share.

  
“Jim, if he wasn’t coming back… then he wouldn’t have made plans with Dad and I to have Christmas dinner with you. He made sure that Sally had a list of food to prepare and recipes that wouldn’t hamper your senses. He plans to be there, Jim.” Stephen turned and left. Jim looked up at Simon, his eyes relaxing as his mouth spread into a wide grin.

  
“He’s coming back, Simon… he said it and he meant it!”

  
The four friends began to eat dessert with a lighter heart.

  


o-O-o

  
When he got the call from Naomi, it was both a shock and a relief. On the one hand, to hear from his friend’s mother meant that she wasn’t angry with him for the mess that had been left of Blair’s life. On the other hand, it was the wrong Sandburg calling and could mean that his friend had nothing to say. That thought, frankly, scared him to death.

  
“Naomi, it’s good to hear from you.” His reaction was genuine if a bit reserved. Her first reply took some of the tension out of his shoulders.

  
“Jim… he will come home.” Her voice was quiet but firm. Jim tried to silently release the breath he had until that time been holding unconsciously. She still heard it, as evidenced by the musical chuckle that came across the line back at him. “Well, it’s good to hear that someone else is concerned for him and where he lands at the end of all this.”

  
“And when will that be, Naomi? He’s been gone for nearly two months now.” Jim couldn’t help the note of irritation that crept up into his voice. Nor did he care to.

  
“Let me answer your question with one of my own.” Jim could hear the grin from across the wire. “How is the IAD’s investigation going?”

  
An odd question to ask. Jim thought carefully before answering his own question. “He’ll come back when the ‘All clear’ has sounded.”

  
Naomi’s answer caused the smile to return to his face. “My Blair was always good about keeping his head down.”

  
The last of the tension seeped from his posture at Naomi’s confirming words. He was convinced now, more than ever, that his partner was sticking to the plan. But there was still something he really wanted to know. “Naomi, what is his dissertation about?”

  
It seemed like a lifetime before she answered, whisper soft.

  
“Jim… it’s not about you.”

  


o-O-o

  
Jim was sipping his second cup of coffee for the day when he got the wave from Simon to join him in his office. Taking his cup with him, Jim slipped through the door and found IAD Detective Richard Speakes sitting at the conference table that took up the other half of the room. Last Jim had heard, Speakes was investigating the Zeller case. He took a deep breath as the implications of this meeting took hold. Simon nodded slightly towards the table and Jim moved to take a seat, keeping himself close to the door and the table in between himself and Speakes. Simon took a seat at the head of the table.

  
“Speakes, good to see you looking healthy these days.” He tried hard to sound relaxed and neutral. From the smirk on the other detective’s face he was failing miserably.

  
“Relax a bit, Jim. This is all actually good news.” Speakes waited until the silence was more comfortable before continuing. Jim didn’t feel much more relaxed and Simon looked like he was ready to destroy something if he didn’t hear what he wanted to in the next minute or two. Speakes smiled ruefully as he opened the file before him. He apparently didn’t need to read it and Jim suspected that he had it memorized. His smile was easy and Jim could imagine that whatever he was going to say, he felt good about. He took a breath before speaking.

  
“This case has been deemed closed with the evidence leading to the clearing of any charges against Detective James Ellison. There is no doubt, due to eye witness accounts and forensic evidence collected, that Detective Ellison acted well within his boundaries as a police officer in Cascade. His life and that of his partner, Blair Sandburg, could have been lost but for the quick action taken by the detective on… so on and so on… You get the picture.” Jim felt the last of the tension leech from his body and he was able to truly relax for the first time since sitting at the table. Speakes finished it off. “So in other words, you acted in self defense and the defense of an innocent against a deranged assassin. It’s over, Jim.”

  
The Sentinel shared a look with his captain and both breathed a sigh of relief. Speakes grinned. “Okay, enough of business. Where’s Sandburg?”

  
Jim shrugged. “Good question Rick. One that I ask myself daily.”

  
Speakes nodded, his expression one of complete understanding. “I was wondering what you guys were thinking of trying to get him into a cop uniform. Me personally, I think it would have been a major mistake.”

  
Jim sat forward quickly, his blue eyes glittering. “You’re saying that Sandburg wouldn’t have made a good cop?”

  
“Nah, it’s not that, Ellison. The kid would have made a great cop, but it would have changed him drastically. And part of his charm is his people skills. He’s such a good judge of character on most days. Sure he screwed up a time or two, but that’s the way it goes.” Speakes sat back in his seat, his hands relaxed on the table top. “Sandburg wouldn’t have made it through the Academy without turning hard like the rest of us. It takes a certain amount of callous behavior to make a cop in this day and age. The kid would have made a much better advisor, a profiler maybe. If he had just managed to get that PhD things would have been much better for him.”

  
Jim relaxed his posture again, the beast within having been appeased for the moment. “What do you think he should have done?”

  
Speakes stood and checked his jacket before adjusting and collecting his files. “First thing I would have told him was to get back at those sons of bitches that ruined his and your lives. What they did was unconscionable in the highest degree. They published excerpts of something that was never to see the light of day without the express permission of the author involved. That in the least should have warranted a public apology; if not huge settlements and a reversing of the pain and sorrow they inflicted by destroying his credibility. Not to mention the suffering of your reputation and privacy as an officer of the law.”

  
Jim dropped his eyes to the table top, his mind going a mile a minute. It was the plan, laid out before him in its most basic form. Blair was fixing things like he said. Starting with his reputation and the money he lost. Simon said nothing for a little while, in his own way giving Jim a moment to think. It had been voiced by the big captain many a time, the fact that if the University or the publisher had kept their mouths shut, none of this would have happened. Jim and Blair would still be working together and no one would have been suspicious. And who knows, Blair might have been able to finish his dissertation and gotten his PhD without revealing Jim as anything but the great detective that he was.

  
But those thoughts were past and Jim had to look at the present and think about the future. His Guide was dealing with the ones who had wronged him and his partner. All Jim had to do now was wait until his Guide returned. Simon nodded to Speakes as the man left, shut the door and turned back to Jim, the look in his eyes telling the Sentinel that their conversation wasn’t finished.

  
“Now that we are alone… How are the senses doing?” Simon appeared to brace himself for the brush off from his best friend. He got exactly what he expected.

  
“I’m fine, Sir.”

  
Unfortunately for Jim, Simon had been schooled in the fine art of Ellison bullshit by one Blair Sandburg. The big black man was unmoved by the supposedly relaxed pose that Jim tried to hide behind. The twitch of his shoulders and the squinting of his eyes told his captain everything he needed to know. “Fine, eh? Like hell you are.”

  
Moving quickly and quietly, the captain closed the blinds to his office, put in a short call to Rhonda to hold all his calls, and made a fresh pot of plain coffee. As the office slipped into darkness, Jim’s posture began to relax, the tightness of his face evening out as the harsh light was removed. Near silence in the room didn’t make him flinch any more and he showed signs of easing out of his protective posture. Simon set a cup of the fragrant brew in front of him and he inhaled the pure scent, holding to it like an anchor in the tossing waves of stimuli.

  
“Thanks Simon,” acknowledged the Sentinel ruefully. He had been pushing it and hadn’t even noticed until it was a very near thing. Again he missed his Guide’s soothing words and warm touch on his arm, reminding him of where his anchor was. His captain and friend nodded in silent understanding. It was probably on the tip of his tongue to suggest a little vacation time when Jim cut a look at him that argued otherwise. And in case Simon hadn’t gotten the hint from his cold blue eyes, he decided to put it into words.

  
“I’m staying right here until he comes back, Simon. Don’t test me on this, you will fail.” Jim’s voice held firm as granite and brooked no argument from the bigger man. Simon wisely let it go. “The only thing I can’t figure out here, Simon… is what happened with Sid and Berkshire Publishing? According to Blair’s plans there are some things out of order here.”

  
Simon paused in thought. “Good question Jim. Maybe the kid wasn’t so sure about IAD clearing you…?”

  
“Nah, doesn’t wash, Sir. Blair has always had more faith in me then was normal. Plus he was there when Zeller went over the edge.” Jim sat back with his mug of coffee and tried to piece the puzzle together.

  
“Maybe Berkshire is holding out for a little longer, hoping it will all blow over?” Simon mused aloud.

  
“Possibly, but I don’t like it. I wish I could talk to him, find out where he is, what he’s doing…” Jim sighed as he finished off the coffee, his little break taking the edge off and making him feel a bit normal again. He was handing the cup back to Simon when there was a knock on the door and Henri stuck his head in for the barest of moments.

  
“Hey Captain… Oh hey Ellison, you’re gonna want to see this too, that hack from the publishing company? The one that fucked up Sandburg’s career? He’s on TV with some special deal going on.”

  
Simon was already walking to his television set, snapping it on and turning the volume up to normal. Jim sat up with interest as Sid Graham appeared in all his cheesy glory on the screen. His face held a sad expression as his shoulders struggled to stay firm. The sound came in the middle of a sentence and all three men stopped to listen.

  
 _“—the fact that Mr. Sandburg did not, in fact, give written permission to Berkshire Publishing to release parts of the dissertation that was later thrown out. We apologize for any hurt we may have caused, any danger we at the company of Berkshire Publishing may have inadvertently caused for Detective James Ellison, Major Crimes, the Cascade PD or Detective Ellison’s family. We hope that this will settle the stories and keep the facts plain. The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg was a work of fiction, to be finished and published by Mr. Sandburg through proper channels, but is now a lost work. Mr. Sandburg has no intention of publishing it or any other work with our company. Thank you for your time.”_

  
The scene switched as the camera on Graham pulled back to reveal Wendy Hawthorne in a conservative dark blue suit. Her smile looked like it hurt as she tightened it even further. Jim watched as the perky blonde flashed dazzling eyes on the camera. She looked as if she was about to bounce right out of the room, so excited she appeared to be.

  
 _“And there you have it folks, proof positive that Cascade and Rainier University made a tragic mistake. Berkshire Publishing has given their public apology on national television. Sources say that earlier today, Chancellor Edwards of Rainier University also gave a short statement acknowledging their part in the mistake that caused Blair Sandburg to stand before cameras and microphones nearly three months ago and declare himself a fraud, disavowing a dissertation that was never to see the light of day._

 _  
Detective Ellison is not available for comment at this time, being embroiled in the IAD’s investigation in the case of international assassin Klaus Zeller, whose death is still being classified as unfortunate but clearly self-defense. More on that at a later time. Back to you Hal.”_

  
The scene now switched back to Hal in the studio, also with a smile to light up the night skies. _“Thank you Wendy. And just to let you and the folks at home know, the investigation by IAD has been concluded and an official statement has been drafted and released explaining that Detective Ellison has indeed been found cleared in his dealings with Klaus Zeller. It would seem that things can finally get back to normal in the city of Cascade, eh Wendy?”_

  
 _“That’s great to hear, Hal. Thankfully Cascade’s finest can go back to doing what they do best. Protecting our city.”_

  
Simon shut off the TV and turned to Jim, who sat dumbfounded, his eyes frozen on the screen before him. After a moment, Jim let out a quiet chuckle which soon turned into an honest to God laugh. He thought about all that had been said, and what they had been told to expect… the Chancellor, the publishing company, the IAD investigation… it was all there.

  
Sitting with his friend at the table, the captain of Major Crimes could do nothing but join him in his joyous laughter. Everything was going to be alright, it had to… the kid had said it would, didn’t he?

  
**

  
A week went by after the press conference, then two, and no word from Blair. After three weeks went by, Jim began to get worried. He called and invited Stephen over for dinner one night, hoping that his little brother would have some news, some idea as to what could be going on or what could have gone wrong. Stephen came, happy to make his brother as comfortable as possible. He was quick to calm Jim as much as he could.

  
“He’s coming back, Jim. I promise. I’ve got an ear in every school with a decent anthropology department. I’ve gotten in touch with his mentor, Eli Stoddard. I’ve used every available resource tracking Naomi down. Dad has talked to everyone and called in every marker to gain information.” Stephen took hold of Jim’s am, pulling the bigger man around to match his gaze. “You have been so busy with keeping a low profile, you haven’t noticed Simon using his pull to drop APBs and inquiries in every city he has connections to. Everyone is doing everything they can to get something.”

  
Jim nodded faintly. “There’s just nothing to find, is there?” He sat heavily on the sofa, staring out the balcony doors towards the bay. His head had begun to hurt three days prior and he was trying so hard to hold out. He was riding the waves, shooting the curl that Blair had left in his wake as he did what he needed to do to make things right.

  
“Stevie? Who did the attorney work?” he asked quietly. Stephen came to sit next to him.

  
“One of Dad’s old friends. He owed Dad big time and Blair used this time to help him collect. Dad was only too happy to let him.”

  
Jim nodded. “Is there a lot of money in the trust fund?”

  
Stephen knew what Jim wasn’t saying and answered the unspoken. “He is coming back to be with you, Jim. Don’t forget that. He won’t have anything holding him back from doing exactly what he wants to do. Be your Guide and your partner.”

  
“He won’t be a cop…” he left the rest unsaid. Stephen nodded.

  
“He’ll be something better… a Civilian Forensic Anthropologist with a gun, a consultant assigned to Major Crimes and one Detective Jim Ellison.” Stephen tried hard not to laugh at the comical expression on his brother’s face. “See, told you he’s coming back. He already has plans for a job that will keep him right by your side."

  
“A gun, Stevie? Blair hates guns…”

  
Stephen shook his head. “He dislikes the need for guns but understands the necessity for it all the same.” At a glance from Jim, he went on. “Hey, he and I have had some discussions about it while talking about your home life as a kid. Or rather, my side of it.”

  
Jim snorted. “That damn dissertation…”

  
“Not the one you’re thinking of,” quipped Stephen. “He asked me what I thought of you being a cop. And if I had any ideas of where you would have landed, given the state of your life at home. Would you have still been a cop if Dad’s treatment of our relationships had been better? That sort of thing.”

  
“Was I destined to become a cop, in other words?”

  
“Yeah… I gave him as honest an answer as I could come up with. You would have done what was right for everyone around you. For your family, it was getting out and getting out of the way, going to the Army so that you could put that strict discipline to work. For you, it was getting out of the Army when time let you and getting on with your life in a regular, familiar place. You always do what’s right for everyone, including yourself.”

  
“Now I have to sit back and let someone else do for me what I couldn’t do for myself.” Jim dropped his head into his hands and sighed deeply.

  
“He’ll be fine, Jim.”

  
“I know Stevie… that’s not it.” He pulled is head up to meet his brother’s gaze. “I miss him… I know he said he was coming back, I think that might be why I’ve been able to hold on for so long. “

  
He stood and began to pace in front of the balcony doors, gaining speed and strength in his words with each pass. “See, at first I was pissed. ‘Oh boy, here we go again; Sandburg’s gone off to process.’ But then I read the letter from him and he told me he was safe. That showed how much he knew me. I was afraid for just that short amount of time between Simon giving me the news about Blair not being at the Academy and finding that note. He apologized right after that for the deception. And I realized that his obfuscation was something I could overlook. I thought it meant that he had figured out he just couldn’t be a cop. And that sort of scared me, cause I thought he was leaving for good.”

  
“But in the end of the note, he made sure to tell me that he was coming back. Like it was imperative that I know this. He didn’t want me to carry on without him. He wanted me to hold still and wait. And you know how I hate to wait. But it’s something that I’m good at, holding still… so that’s what I’ve been trying to do. Holding still, watching the world go by and waiting.”

  
Stephen watched as his big brother slowed his pace and came to a complete stop in front of him. “How has that worked for you?”

  
“I still feel this hole in my heart… this silence… it’s where he belongs and he’s not here to fill it.” Jim sat next to his brother and sighed. “I miss him like crazy Stevie.”

  
“I know, Jim… I know.”

  


o-O-o

  
Jim was unsurprised to be called into Simon’s office. It had been exactly four months since Blair had left. Left the loft, left Major Crimes, left Cascade… left him. It was getting harder on him. His senses were slipping way below normal. He was slowly losing himself each and every day. But he wasn’t about to leave yet. He wasn’t finished here; he was still holding it together. The main trouble was that he was without Blair there as his anchor, leaving that hole of silence in his heart; he wasn’t using the senses at all, letting them slip away and only trying to stay clear so that he could do the job regularly. He wasn’t repressing them but that’s how they were acting. He didn’t fight it.

  
Today marked the 120th day without Blair in his life and Simon was calling him into his office. Nothing unusual there. Simon called him in all the time, sometimes two and three times a day. Just to check on him, see how his senses were feeling, how a case was doing. So it just happened to be the 16th week since Blair had disappeared without a trace. So he happened to have been desk bound for the last three days when his vision snapped to normal and his hearing had fallen to nearly deaf, a strange buzzing sound coming from deep within. Nothing new under the sun when Simon calls him into his office first thing in the morning.

  
So why, as Jim stood up from his desk and began the seemingly endless trek across the bullpen towards his Captain’s office, did he suddenly get a sharp jolt through all his senses, almost like a computer being rebooted? Why, as he made his winding way past Rafe and Conner’s desks, did he get a quickening of his breath as he felt a sharp spike of exhilaration sweep through his bones from the top of his head to the tips of his toes? What was it about this particular call into Simon’s office that felt like something hot had settled into the pit of his stomach and spread warmth throughout his muscles? Why did he feel like this day was going to be it… the day… THE day!

  
He pushed himself through the last foot or so into Simon’s office and took note of the Chief of Police standing with Simon near the conference table. Jim shut the door and stood before it, hands behind him as his feet stood planted shoulder length apart, parade rest. He cleared his throat gently. Simon looked up and grinned slightly, then stood fully and motioned the detective to come forward.

“Jim, glad to see you looking so well. I was just explaining to the Chief about your condition and how you were coping.” The big man glanced at the Chief, who smiled tightly and nodded. Jim nodded in return as Simon turned back to him. “We have some news for you. The department is getting a new consultant today. I want you to work together on a couple of cases that have fallen through and need a little of the Ellison magic, if you know what I mean?”

  
For a moment Jim panicked. A consultant? Someone coming to work with Major Crimes? Someone he was going to have to partner with? He wasn’t so sure this was right; he had to hold out for Blair. Blair was coming back and Jim was waiting so that they could be partners again. He didn’t need this now. He couldn’t… oh shit, he was about to lose it. He tuned back in to Simon’s explanation.

  
“Although he hasn’t been through formal academy training, he is trained in firearms and is licensed to carry. He should be able to watch your back when you are out working a scene. He’s a little unconventional, so give him a little slack, will you? I don’t want to have him filing harassment charges on you first thing. This is your partner, not a pack mule. And he’s to stay with you, not in the truck. He’s just in from San Diego University where he received his PhD in Anthropology and a Masters in Forensic Science. And I heard his paper was well received.” He broke off suddenly as his gaze caught on someone coming into the bullpen. He nodded slightly. “There he is now.”

  
Jim spun around quickly and stared out across the now empty bullpen. Sometime in the last few minutes the last remaining detectives had left and now only one figure remained. He opened the door to the office and strode out purposefully. Simon shut the door, giving as much privacy as he could for the next few minutes. It wouldn’t have mattered to the Sentinel in the least as he stopped short in front of the man. He took a minute to catalogue him completely.

  
He was tanned, beautifully so. His hair was longer and pulled back into a tight braid that would have fallen to the middle of his back if it hadn’t been laying across his left shoulder, the end held together in a silver wolf’s head clasp. His bright blue eyes took on a starlight quality as he gazed back at Jim, his wide lush lips stretched into a huge grin. His body looked a bit thin, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a few well timed meals. He fidgeted a bit as Jim stood scrutinizing him carefully. He was about to open his mouth and say something when the bigger man stepped forward and swept him into a tight hug, his head tucked under the taller man’s chin, his body wrapped up by strong arms. They rocked back and forth for a moment before Jim finally spoke.

  
“Do you hear that?” he asked quietly. Dr. Blair Sandburg pulled back from his friend, partner, Sentinel and cocked his head slightly.

  
“No man, what is it?” he asked just as quietly.

  
“That’s the silence in my heart finally being filled with music again.” Jim smiled as Blair tucked his head back into the massive chest. Two souls finally reunited as the team that they were.


End file.
